Half way through a book signing lineup, a young man approached me and asked if I would write a marriage proposal to his girlfriend on the title page of his newly purchased copy of Griffin and Sabine. I politely refused, on the grounds that if she said ‘yes’, she might later blame ME and if she said ‘no’, he was sure to hold ME responsible.
Aimlessly pondering the guys strange request on the way back to my hotel I started to think about the old scribes and the power their jobs afforded them. Because sleep is often hard to come by on the road, I decided to take the young man’s request a little further, could I write a multi-purpose proposal, or better still something that the good folk at Hallmark might die for, an all purpose love letter? I picked up my pen...
I’d forgotten about this dubious missive until yesterday, when I was considering all those poor sods who had forgotten to present Valentines Day flowers to their heartthrob. Maybe, I thought to myself I could help. So I dug out the letter.
If you are in need of instant salvation, here is the ‘out’ you are looking for. Just cut and paste the following, add the appropriate names front and back, then speedily email. I can’t guarantee the outcome, but if you are truly lucky, you might just escape the wroth of your loved one.
... my love,
The first time I saw your face I knew immediately I was not alone. I've never expressed this to you, but, before we met I felt as though I were drifting through a mist. I would see people, even meet them, but never know them or have them know me. I felt as if the things I cared about were of importance to no one but me. Then I stumbled on you and it was as if all of my thoughts and feelings suddenly mattered. You looked at me and I felt like I'd been made real. Through you, the world and everything in it took on a solidity, a permanence and a sense of purpose. Your eyes made me mortal. Why have I never said these things before? Shyness? Embarrassment? I'm not certain. All I know for sure is that it is time for me to tell you how deeply I love you.
It's easy to say the words "I love you", people do it carelessly all the time, but to truly mean it—that's something quite different. Please hear me when I tell you that you are my love.
Love is a strange creature, throughout the day it swells and recedes, yet it is constant. If I get distracted or speak sharply, if I become jealous or stubborn, it's not because I love you any the less. There are times when I am exasperated by something you say or do, yet I would change not a single thing about you, because I know that my frustrations are born within myself and are not of your making.
I want to do more than acknowledge my love for you, I want to make sure you realize the esteem I hold you in. To me you are magnificent.
Thank you for being all that you are and thank you for caring for me.
I adore you.